What Goes on in my Head

 Most of my posts to this point have been class related in some way. With this post I want to stay away from that and just talk about what goes on in my head. Recently, I've been having trouble describing what it is I have been feeling/thinking. To preface the next thing I am about to say is that I am clinically depressed. To answer the gut reaction you may have after reading this, yea it sucks. It has stopped from living the way I want to, because I end up just going through the actions of everyday. The biggest problem is being self destructive. To explain it shortly, I get trapped in my own head and think about a lot of stuff. It is not pleasant when your own brain brings you down a peg every day.

Although I deal with it, its not always bad, at least I believe it isn't. Its because of my friends and my passions. My friends have always been there for me and most times they can't say anything to help me but the fact that they are physically present means the world to me. The effect most of the time is that I snap out of it for a bit. Besides my friends, my passions and hobbies have been keeping my head up. If you didn't know I also write music. The way music helps me comes in the form of moments when I can't think of what to say. Usually I end up playing my guitar or piano and just vibe to the music. Its a great way to release some built up tension or frustration.

I know this post is a bit somber but, there is a point that I want to make. And that is to not be afraid to talk to someone and seek help. This is because as someone going through it therapy helps. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness if anything its a sign that someone is strong because they understand that there is still an amount they can grow. So as always, stay safe out there friends.

-Alex